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GHOSTING

by Doron Diamond

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1.
GHOSTING 03:15
And I feel my heart gone drift away But I hold my tongue If I hold my pose for long enough Would the blood still run? And I feel my life done slip away  And I come undone But I'll dream of thunder anyway Till the lightning comes  And I scream myself to sleep again Till my throat goes numb And it seems like only yesterday It was just a hum And I dream a river runaway But I’m under thumbs If I held my own hand long enough Would my song be sung And I feel my heart go drift astray But I got my lungs So I’ll keep on singing anyway Till the morning comes
2.
Heart attacks were made for summer And I'm hummin' like hell Fated to remember another But too faded to tell Arm yourself With the rhythm of a runner When you feel not alone But a little lonesome Arm yourself Like a pigeon in the gutter When you feel alone But not a loner Faded all December And I’m feeling like hell You and me are ghosts that don't remember It’s not ringing a bell Haunt yourself With the vision of another When you feel All along A little wholesome Calm yourself Like a medicated mother When you feel All alone And a little loathsome Arm yourself like a rebel and a gunner When you feel not alone But a little lonesome Arm yourself with the symbol of a stunner When you feel when you feel alone But not a loner Not alone
3.
Shame Song 02:44
Do you remember when You said to me I'm only lonely for the blues Not the flowers that you choose It wasn't sympathy Just an epiphany For you And so I take the news I let it in I take the deal I make the most Of visions handed down from family A forgery A symphony For now and then I know exactly what you said and why you ran away You said I’d probably stand to love and fight another day I know exactly the way to unwind (I'll toe the company line) Remember Brooklyn and the bones before they broke apart Remember when the bedroom wasn't such a work of art Don't you remember Remember the time (I guess I'll follow you blind) I take a life I compromise The kind of fear you always had but never thought to recognize You stole the keys No guarantees For me You take a bath I do the math Do I shower you with praise Like a poet on the page And get your autograph Or take a different path Than you
4.
What can I do What can I say? You're the only one To make me feel this way The only one With a finger and a thumb That's the connection...
5.
I Saw Light! 03:27
So I walked into the cemetery Sermon down the stairs A place to settle scores among the chairs Pretending to appreciate The torrent of the tears behind the prayers But separating sunshine And creatures of the night Were higher diamonds putting up a fight And visions of the renegade Fading out of sight I saw the light! I saw the train pull into the station So I walked into the hollow home Saw sentimental stares And I never want to see the place again The lord might be a woman But the devil is most certainly a man But state lines and hard times Make runners in the night And good crimes may never come to light Remember last november felt alright I saw the light! I saw the train pull into the station I saw the light! I saw the train was full and the wolf wore wool (And the streets were bright In the dead of night And I always thought Things were black and white And you gave the look And it left me shook And insisted that This was by the book) I saw the light! I saw the train pull into the station
6.
Blinded by the chances And all my second glances of you Never had a lover And now I’ve blown my cover with you And a mind like mine needs a second chance Never had a lover that wasn’t like my mother till you Baby says she's rubber But I won't be turned to glue (Heard it through the grapevine, baby's on the decline too) And a mind like mine needs a second chance
7.
The Way Back 02:20
WAY BACK Don’t ask for the way back Don’t ask me to say I love you Don’t ask me to wave back Don’t ask me to say I need you Don’t wait for the feedback Don’t ask me to please believe you Don’t ask for the way back I love you I wanted the long haul I wanted to stay believing I’m hearing the birds call You’re hearing the vultures feeding Keep throwing those curveballs And baby I’ll strike out swinging I wanted the long haul I love you So maybe you’ll be there And show me the songs youre writing And act like a rockstar While keeping your heart in hiding I know that you still care I know that you’re still deciding But baby I still care I love you
8.
For Orbison 04:04
No sleep No teeth Heart beats hard like an animal Uptight Alright Lonely back alley radical Heaven all the time In the arms of america Heaven’s on my side In the arms of america Cold nights Old fights Streets are scarred with the cynical No claws Slow pause Sun beats down it’s unbearable Never gonna bite The arms of america Never gonna fight In the arms of America Where did you go and run My love? Warm feet Concrete Wide eyes shining hysterical Streetcar Rockstar You’re the sound Of a miracle Heaven knows I’ve tried To belong in america Never be denied In the arms of America Where did you go and run My love? After no reaction Will you love me tomorrow? After satisfaction Will you love me tomorrow? Spreading all the ashes Will you love me tomorrow? What makes love so Impossible Will you love me tomorrow? I’ll still love you tomorrow I’ll still love you tomorrow
9.
Cigarette 03:12
Wasting away I know what you know I know Hatin' my life Waiting for the show But you need me now You need me, need me now Cigarette You're the backstreet of my life Cigarette You're the backstreet of my life Cigarette You're the backstreet of my life But I don't mean to invite you home Breakin away But colors they don’t glow They moan But it's all fantasy Waitin' for epiphanies To show So comfort me I'm harvesting the bitter seeds I've sown Cigarette You're the backstreet of my life Cigarette You're the backstreet of my life Cigarette You're the backstreet of my life You’re the hope left in my fight To atone Well fuck me the gravity Of everything I’ve blown The diamond's they shined bright on me Now everything is stone I’ve catered to the crater But the crater’s only grown But I know all the bravest pigeons walk alone Cigarette You're the backstreet of my life Cigarette You're the backstreet of my life Cigarette You're the backstreet of my life You're the hope left in my fight Alone
10.
Should have stayed Should have stayed in the water Should have made The way to write a new song But when I shake a knife And shine a light That's the kinda shit that's keepin me up alone at night And when I recognize A compromise You're always mad at me What's my life about oh I don't wanna know Tell me lies cause I don't think that I wanna know Hanging lights throwing shadows against the wall So I'm trying to discover I take a long look At the universe again And a strummer Made me dumber I tore the whole thing apart Trying to make it right And my mother Under covers Who the hell could she tell I was trying to survive I'm changin hearts I'm changing minds I'm lettin strangers Sleep tonight And friends They don't apologize For playing their parts In alibis Everyone gotta Face the chemical heart Weighs a ton I don't think I could tear it apart Yeah, who wants a woman That wants you? Anyone want to take a stranger apart Everyone want a piece of my delicate heart Well we'll call it a loan
11.
Who do you love Do you love her? Do you love her? Who do you love Like your mother? Like your mother? Who do you love? Like a brother Like a brother Who? Who do you love? Praying like it’s rain But you’re draining your face of it’s color I’m taking the place Of your favorite mistakes Where the hole in your heart Meets the hole in your faith Haunted by chances you just didn’t take Sharing a feeling you just couldn’t shake Remember the festival we were alive Now it aches in the place That we never survived Who do you love?
12.
I feel the beat Stalk the streets I lost the light But feel the heat Was once admired Now taste defeat I feel so tired But at least I feel Across the street I say goodbye At least I tried Pretending that I heard the choir I brother up To cover up The way I lie It’s strange What you said to me Fate Is a broken key It's fake Opportunity I know what you wanna say But I'm losing my head Feel so tired but I can't sleep Grind my teeth I'm getting off To no relief Shedding all Those old beliefs Sit and stare Denying the grief Paper plates And microwaves I shave and shower Just in case Another hour You show your face With broken flowers Broken vase When I strum the strings Shame when I fuck the flings Pangs for the company I ache for the simple things I know what you wanna say But I'm losing my head

about

I wrote most of this album during and immediately after I went to rehabilitation for prescription medication back in 2013. I didn't know what the term "Ghosting" meant then, it just came to me and sounded right for how I was existing at the time.

I recorded this album alone at home, but without some of these people, it would have never happened.

Biggest thanks to my family, who got me through those old dark times
My mom for her constant love & enthusiasm
My dad for never giving up and saving my life
My sisters for always caring/putting up with me

Special thanks to Stefani Kochen and Kaitlin Jaffe, who were for all intents and purposes my only collaborators. The album would have never happened if not for them. Thank you for the feedback, gear, patience and endless encouragement.

Thank you to Abby Kaye for the endless support and for being my most trusted layperson and more importantly, a good friend. Thank you to Jeremy Abaranok for being my personal Rick Rubin. Thank you to Liana Moynier for all the free and unconditional moon therapy and spiritual guidance. Thank you Karly Railsback for all the unconditional love and support. Thank you Melissa for being a cheerleader all the way from NC. Thank you Rachel Connelly for helping me believe in myself. Thank you Tiffany for your concern, care, and Muay Thai wisdom. Thank you Jessica for caring. Thank you Heather Dickson for listening to and rating my demos, it was a huge confidence boost, and meant all the more coming from such a seriously talented musician. Thank you Yon for the same artistic ear you've always generously lent me. Thank you Tal for believing in me and being such a calming presence. Thank you to Alexandra Dumas for the album cover and for sticking with me through the worst of it. Thank you endlessly Alison Liss for making my life possible when it was at its lowest point.

Thank you so much to Stephanie Kravitz, Saba Harouni, Sivan Zaitchik, Andrew & Trista Benhanan, Sarah Freedman, Yael Sherne, Lisa Hacken, Reed Farrar, Dawne Czarny, Lauren Loughman, Kristi Scarvelis, Sarah Smith, Gil Demeter, Rena Ragimova, Maya Zellman, James Faulkner, Carine Idy, Omer Harari, Ariyana Edmond, Doria Anselmo, Heather Pavlick, Katie Smyth, SM, Andy "ButterSlaus" Curtis, Jason Ramin, Dean and Nanci Zellman, Moon Zappa, Lisa Chakmak. You made me feel professional!

Thank U India

Thank you Franny for enduring these unbearable past two months, and for being an endless source of joy.

And thank you to anyone that values and fights for the life of the most vulnerable creatures. You are all heroes of the highest caliber.

Enjoy!

credits

released February 14, 2018

All Instruments/lyrics/arrangements - Doron Diamond

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Doron Diamond Los Angeles, California

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